Levi 9.30.16

Today was a big day for Levi, he was taken off all oxygen and is now breathing completely on his own! We are so thankful and excited. He now has no wires or tubes on his face or in his throat. The feeding tube was removed as well the other day and he is being bottle fed. The only thing left is the IV for the additional IV fluids/nutrition he is getting until he reaches his full feedings by bottle. They start the babies off with very very small feedings and gradually increase so that they don't get sick. Currently, Levi is up to 24mLs which is roughly 2/3 of an ounce. He is fed every 3 hours and they increase his feeing amount by 2mLs every 6 hours. So, it is a slow process to get him up to his full feeding which is around 1.5oz before he can come home. The doctor told us today that it could be just 2-4 days until we are able to bring him home. We are really excited for that and hope it is sooner rather than later. Levi's weight today was 5lbs 1oz so he is close to returning back up to his birth weight of 5lbs 3oz. Thank you for your prayers and please keep praying that Levi continues to do well and doesn't have any set backs. We would love to be able to bring him home in a few days.

Levi 9.29.16

Levi is continuing to do well. They kept him on the nasal oxygen again today because he is still occasionally breathing really fast but is keeping his oxygen levels up. Hopefully he will be able to come off of that tomorrow. He is now taking a bottle every 3 hours and the last feeding he was eating 14mL. They will increase his feedings by 2mL every 6 hours. He has done well maintaining his body temperature so far so we are waiting for him to get completely off the oxygen and eating a normal amount by bottle in order to come home. Last night Levi weighed 4lb 15oz so hopefully he is on the upswing of gaining now!

Levi 9.28.16

He 

Today they lowered Levi's oxygen to 2L and 21% and he is doing really well. They might be able to take him off all oxygen tomorrow. He has graduated to a regular baby crib and now must regulate his own body temperature. He finally gets to wear clothes! At 12:30p I was able to feed him his first bottle and then again at 3:30. He did awesome the second time. Levi is currently eating 6 mL every 3 hours. His feeding tube was removed this evening, yay for one less thing attached to him! Last night he weighed in at 4lbs 14oz.

Levi 9.27.16

Levi was switched over to a regular nasal cannula today. This is the last step before breathing completely on his own. He is currently at 3L of 23% O2. His feedings are now 5ml every 3 hours. Last night they gave him a bath and weighed him. He currently weighs 4lbs 15oz. Today I, Michele, was able to hold him for an hour doing skin to skin contact. We both enjoyed that very much. We are hoping tomorrow is his last day on the nasal cannula and that he will moved into a regular open air bed where he will be maintaining his own body temperature.

Levi 9.26.16

Levi is doing great today! He is still on a nasal cannula c pap now but hopefully tomorrow it will just be a nasal cannula with no pressure. He is breathing great and getting 5ml of milk through the feeding tube every 4 hrs. They said later today they will take out his belly artery line! That means we can hold him! 

They took out his arterial line this afternoon and we were able to hold Levi for the first time tonight. It was awesome! The doctor said it could be 5-6 days until he comes home! They weighed Levi last night and he was 5lbs exactly. 

Levi 9.25.16

Levi is doing much better today. They were able to take the breathing tube out and put him back on the nasal CPAP machine. He is tolerating it well. They also started feeding him some breast milk through the feeding tube. He is currently getting just 5ml every 6 hours. Thankful for the improvement he has made over the past day!

Levi 9.24.16

 Levi is doing much better. He seems a lot more comfortable nd they will be slowly weaning him off the machine and try to switch him to the CPAP oxygen tomorrow or the next day. They are maybe going to try to give him some milk in the feeding tube tomorrow.

Levi 9.23.16

Levi is still intubated but is stable and improving.  The heart issue seems to be resolving. They have had to sedate him several time because he is very jumpy and restless. They also have a towel over his eyes to try to keep him calm.

Levi 9.22.16

Levi was admitting to the NICU and placed on a CPAP breathing machine for over 24 hours. He seemed to really be struggling to breath and keep his oxygen levels up. His breathing is really labored and rapid.

This evening the doctor decided to give him the 2 steroid treatments for his lungs and intubate him for the next few days. They also had a cardiologist come and check on his heart. He has had some pulmonary hypertension. Thankfully everything checked out with the cardiologist and the doctors are hopeful the issue will resolve itself as his breathing gets better. They also had to insert an arterial line in his belly button because of the need for frequent blood draws to check his blood oxygen levels. Because of that it, we will not be able to hold him until he is stable enough for that line to be removed.

This was a very difficult day with all the changes but we know this treatment was necessary to help Levi recover. It was a little scare with the cardiologist consult but we are very relieved and thankful that there is nothing wrong with his heart.

Welcome, Levi James!

On September 21, 2016 at 3:10pm we unexpectedly welcomed Levi James Johnson into the world 6 weeks early. He was born at exactly 34 weeks but
weighed in at a nice 5lbs 3.4oz and 18.25 inches. 

The morning he was born I went to my regular weekly appointment with my doctor. I had been going weekly for check ups since I started the 3rd trimester because I was considered a high risk pregnancy. First I had my ultrasound which confirmed everything was going perfectly. Levi was measuring a week bigger, I had plenty of amniotic fluid, and the placenta looked great. Next I was onto the non stress test to monitor the baby's heart rate & movements and to see if I was having any contractions. After about a half an hour my doctor came in and said I was having some regular contractions so she sent me to the hospital for more testing and monitoring.

 When I got to the hospital they hooked me up to the machine to continue monitoring/measuring the contractions and baby's heart rate. They also did some urine and blood tests to check for preeclampsia. Everything came back normal, my blood pressure was low, and baby was great, however, the contractions continued. They said they were going to give me an injection of a medicine to try to stop the contractions. After an hour, the nurse came in and said it was not working so we were moving onto plan B, magnesium sulfate. Once they started me on this medicine, I would need to be monitored for 24-48hours and would not be able to get out of the bed. We agreed to the treatment and they also gave me a shot of some steroids to begin maturing the baby's lungs some in hopes we were going to be able to keep baby in for another few days or longer. I asked the nurse at this point, "What if this doesn't work" she replied, "it will work.". After another hour, the nurse came in to inform us that it was not working, the contractions were not stopping, the doctor was on her way to see me and would most likely be doing a c section soon. At this point, I was starting to really feel the contractions and they were about 2 minutes apart lasting 15 seconds each. I was not dilating and the doctor did not believe this was labor. She was very concerned at this point that this was another placental abruption about to happen. (This was the complication I had with Josiah's birth.) So, the doctor felt it was better to get the baby out while we were all well in case it was another abruption about to happen. After the surgery, the doctor said she was 99.9% sure it was the beginning of an abruption. I had a small pool of blood near the top of my placenta. Everything was still attached so we were able to catch it before it caused any complications or distress for the baby or me. She also told me that  I healed well and had no scar tissue from the previous c-sections which was really good to hear. 

We so clearly saw God's hand of protection over our lives. I had been praying throughout the pregnancy that if something was wrong that God would make it clear to us. It was amazing the timing of everything. I had no symptoms prior to my doctor's appointment and the contractions started while in the non stress test. We were able to stay ahead of a potentially life threatening complication. Also, I had been taking an injection of blood thinners daily since I found out I was pregnant. Because I was still on a high dose of those and had not yet switched to the half life drug, we thought I would have to be put completely out for the surgery instead of having an epidural. Because it had been well over 12 hours since the time of my last injection, the anesthesiologist cleared me to stay awake for the c-section and get the epidural. God's timing and protection were so perfect! Levi came out crying (and peeing haha) and thankfully both of us made it through the surgery safely.

Levi was transferred down to the NICU after he was born and place on a CPAP machine to help him breathe.

The Mocking of the King; The cost of our Sin

I am reading through Mark and finishing it up today. I came to the passage in Chapter 15 where it speaks of Jesus being mocked, spit on and beat with reeds as He is clothed with a purple cloak.

Mark 15:16-20 -
And the soldiers led him away inside the palace (that is, the governor's headquarters), and they called together the whole battalion.17 And they clothed him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him. 18 And they began to salute him, “Hail, King of the Jews!” 19 And they were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him. 20 And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the purple cloak and put his own clothes on him. And they led him out to crucify him.

As i read it this morning, it reminded me more and more of the cost of our sin. So many times we like to think our sin is "not so bad" or we even have our "Respectable Sins" as Jerry Bridges put it. The problem is, no sin is respectable and the cost of our sin is the beating, the humiliating and death of the God of this universe, God the Son, Jesus Christ.

As we look at our lives, may we look over this passage, look over the Gospel, and be killing our sin. The price was paid for all who believe. Jesus paid it all, we who believe are dressed in the Righteousness of Christ because of the cross and the Gospel. Yet, may we ALWAYS remember the weight of our sin. This was our King, our Lord, our Savior that was beat, spit upon, mocked and killed for our sins. May we hate sin, HATE SIN and KILL SIN, lest it be killing us.

Jesus is worthy!

John Piper - You were made for global missions

Find a Friend to Wound You

- Greg Morse

Have you ever been shocked to life by the words of a friend?

Recently, I was working out with a friend when I shared that my prayer life was dry, time alone with God was sparse, and my soul felt withered. After listening kindly to my half-hearted excuses, he paused our workout, turned to me and said, “Bro, I love you, but that’s unacceptable. People look to you. You need to be looking to Christ — it’s not optional.”

Unacceptable.

After the initial assault on my pride, a wave of gratitude and relief washed over me. Finally, the truth I had been evading — the God I had been evading — caught me. God used a friend’s honesty to awaken me from spiritual slumber.

Wounds of a Friend

When we think of friends, we often think of the people who we naturally like, who like us, and who like the same things we like. We hope for friends who will encourage us, comfort us, and support us — but what about praying for friends who are willing to wound us? 

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:6)

True friends are not mobsters who club us with their words to prove points or settle scores. But godly friends are not less than EMTs (emergency medical technicians) who will rip open our carefully crafted excuses and stun us back to life. They wound us for our good.

And of course, friends must be more than this — after all, we aren’t Pavlovian puppies to be shocked every day. But in a world of political correctness and hyper-sensitivity to criticism, such friends with backbones are nearly as extinct as they are unwelcomed — even within the church.

Safe Friends Are Dangers to Our Sin

Your soul needs friends who are willing to risk wounding your pride in the moment for the long-term good of your soul.

The world cares nothing for our eternal good. Ungodly friends cheer us on toward destruction. They bequeath the kiss of flattery — the Dementor’s kiss. They coddle our egos, telling us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. Even the most genuine and moral among them sets sail away from God. Thus we need a crew of Christian companions — a body — to keep us from shipwreck. Finishing the race is not an individual endeavor, and eternity is at stake. 

Praise God then for the faithful wounds of true friends who protect us from ultimate injury. They tell us plainly, “You’re flirting with destruction!” Or, “Spiritual sloth is unacceptable!” Friends who ask us hard questions, who crush the whispering lizard on our shoulder, who are for our eternal soul above our momentary feelings — these are true friends.

Find these friends. Thank these friends. Imitate these friends. They are, as a friend of mine calls it, God’s “community grace” to you.

What Would Jesus Say?

Jesus calls his followers friends (John 15:14). Some of us may not have many companions, but in Christ we have the Truest Friend, who gives friendship meaning. But had we lived two thousand years ago, we might not have enjoyed living with the Son of God as much as we suppose at first. Jesus was not afraid to wound his friends for the healing of their souls. 

He did not walk in step with our non-offensive niceties. He rebuked follower and Pharisee alike. He would not have balked to say things that would offend us. He was without guile, without flattery. He called a spade a spade, and sin “sin” — always with love, and always with truth. 

But the unbelievable thing is that Jesus also was wounded for his friends (John 15:13). 

He didn’t do accountability drive-bys and leave it at that. He loved with word and deed. He rebuked the sleeping disciples, and called Peter “Satan” one moment, only to lay down his life for them in the next (Matthew 16:23; 26:36–46; 27:24–56). 

Jesus loved his own with comforting words, encouraging words, life-giving words — and hard words. And he backed up every sharp word with three piercing nails and a cutting crown of thorns — all for the everlasting good of his friends. He hurt his friends in order to help them. He was wounded for his friends in order to heal them (Isaiah 53:5).

Friends Like Jesus

We should thank God when he gives us friends like Jesus, and pray that he sends us more.

1. Pray for friends who wound in love.

Though they don’t always feel like it, these friends are a good gift from God. Your soul needs these friends. Ask him for them.

2. Pray for friends who also build up.

More than just wounded, we want to be built up. We want to be loved through encouragement, affirmation, and deeds as well as tough words (1 Thessalonians 5:11; 1 John 3:18).

3. Thank friends who love enough to wound.

Often, those friends who do speak the truth in love feel as uncomfortable and awkward saying tough things as you do hearing them. They may also fear your disapproval and rejection, so when they do speak up, thank them — even when they don’t do it perfectly. 

4. Invite wounds from others.

Take initiative to ask friends to be honest with you about your weaknesses and blind spots, knowing that, because Christ was wounded for us, we can invite wounds; he is our identity. May we say, 

Let a righteous man strike me — it is a kindness; let him rebuke me — it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. (Psalm 141:5)

5. Be a friend who wounds in love.

The author of Hebrews calls us to beware unbelieving hearts that cause us to fall away from the living God (Hebrews 3:12). How do we not fall away? We “exhort one another every day, as long as it is called ‘today,’ that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13).

Today is called today. Which believers will you exhort? Be courageous and speak the truth in love when the time comes (Ephesians 4:15). 

Preach the Gospel, and Since It's Necessary, Use Words

- Ed Stetzer

There’s a popular saying often repeated by Christians. It has found new life on Facebook and Twitter. Maybe you have even uttered these words, commonly at tributed to Francis of Assisi: “Preach the gospel. Use words if necessary.” I think we can appreciate what many are getting at when they say something like this. As Christians, we should live in such a way that our lives point to the person and work of Jesus. However, good intentions cannot overcome two basic problems with this quote and its supposed origin. One, Francis never said it, and two, the quote is not biblical.

Mark Galli has pointed out that there is no record of Francis, a member of a preaching order, uttering anything close to this. In fact, everything we know about the man suggests he would not have agreed with his supposed quote. He was well known for his preaching and often preached up to five times a day.

The idea may not have resonated with Francis, but for many today, wordless ministry is a compelling approach. “Words are cheap,” we like to say, and “Actions speak louder than words.” Galli explains that the sentiment complements our culture rather well:

“Preach the gospel; use words if necessary” goes hand in hand with a postmodern assumption that words are finally empty of meaning. It subtly denigrates the high value that the prophets, Jesus, and Paul put on preaching. Of course, we want our actions to match our words as much as possible. But the gospel is a message, news about an event and a person upon which the history of the planet turns.

And this is the real problem — not from whom the quote originally came, but just how it can give us an incomplete understanding of the gospel and how God saves sinners. Christians are quick to encourage each other to “live out the gospel,” to “be the gospel” to our neighbors, and to even “gospel each other.” The missional impulse here is helpful, yet the gospel isn’t anything the Christian can live out, practice, or become.

The Apostle Paul summarized the gospel as the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, through whom sin is atoned for, sinners are reconciled to God, and the hope of the resurrection awaits all who believe . The gospel is not habit, but history. The gospel is the declaration of something that actually happened. And since the gospel is the saving work of Jesus, it isn’t something we can do, but it is something we must announce. We do live out its implications, but if we are to make the gospel known, we will do so through words.

It appears that the emphasis on proclamation is waning even in many churches that identify themselves as evangelical. Yet proclamation is the central task of the church. No, it is not the only task God has given us, but it is central. While the process of making disciples involves more than verbal communication, and obviously the life of a disciple is proved count e r f ei t when i t amounts to words alone, the most critical work God has given the church is to “proclaim the excellencies” of our Savior.

A godly life should serve as a witness for the message we proclaim. But without words, what can our actions point to but ourselves? A godly life cannot communicate the incarnation, Jesus’ substitution for sinners, or the hope of redemption by grace alone through faith alone. We can’t be good news, but we can herald it, sing it, speak it, and preach it to all who listen. In fact, verbal communication of the gospel is the only means by which people are brought into a right relationship with God. The Apostle Paul made this point to the church in Rome when he said:

For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. But how can they call on Him they have not believed in? And how can they believe without hearing about Him? And how can they hear without a preacher? (Rom. 10:13–14, HCSB)

If we are to make disciples of all nat ions, we must use words. Preaching necessitates the use of language. So, let me encourage us to preach the gospel, and use words, since it’s necessary. But let me also say that agreeing to the centrality of proclamation is not enough. We need to move from agreement with the idea to effective execution of it. Let me encourage us to be a people who not only use gospel words but use them in four ways.

1. Let your gospel words be comprehensible.

In our bid to be accurate about theological issues, we must also make certain we are comprehensible. We want to declare the biblical gospel in a culturally accessible manner. This requires us to define theological words as well as embrace the language of the people to whom we speak wherever appropriate. I find it ironic that some who love the Puritans sometimes betray the Puritan practice of speaking “plainly.” Gospel words should be offered, as much as possible, in the common language of the listeners. How shall they hear if we speak in another language?

2. Let your gospel words be earnest.

We communicate that the gospel is a serious matter because it is a serious matter. I’m not suggesting that everyone should have the same temperament, but I am saying that life-saving “good news” should be offered with sobriety, sincerity, and zeal. No one listens to proclamation about serious issues presented in frivolous ways. When preaching Christ, we need clarity and sincerity.

3. Let your gospel words be heard outside the local church.

Making disciples means giving the gospel to those outside the church. Since we believe that the only Godgiven means of transferring people from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light involves the preaching of the gospel with words, we should be compelled to speak such words to any who will listen. As the ones sent by God (that’s us), we should be ready to “tell the story” to the unconverted people in our neighborhoods, schools, and workplaces.

4. Let your gospel words be heard inside the local church.

The gospel should be spoken in the church because even the redeemed can drift back toward the opposite temptations of legalism and lawlessness. One of the most important things a Christian does is to redirect other Christians back to Jesus though the good news of the gospel. And, we need to speak it in the church so that the unbelievers visiting among us can hear how precious it remains to our lives, that it is not merely a way station on our spiritual journey. The gospel is spoken in the company of faith for both our sanctification and our worship.

The gospel requires, demands even, words. So, let’s preach the gospel, and let’s use words, since they’re necessary. May they be clear and bold words that call those inside and outside the church to follow Jesus.

Whats Wrong with Western Missionaries? - Nik Ripken

Their words almost knocked me over. They hit me like a horse hoof to the gut. 

When I was a young boy, I helped my father train quarter horses. And we always felt the danger of being the recipient of a wayward hoof. One day, not paying close attention, I was kicked, leaving a well-defined hoof print in the center of my stomach. Every ounce of breath left my body.

Decades later, challenging words delivered by believers from an Islamic background left me just as breathless.

Listening to Persecuted Believers

This event took place after we had visited over 45 countries, interviewing believers in persecution from backgrounds including communism, atheism, Hinduism, and Buddhism. We were learning from believers in persecution how to make Christ known and how to give birth to house churches that then would reproduce on their own.

After experiencing the devastation of Somalia, broken over the martyrdom of over 90% of Somali believers, our learning curve was acute. Believers in persecution were generous with their wisdom; they instinctively understood that investing in us gave deeper meaning to their own suffering.

Now we were returning to the world of Islam. It was in the world of Islam where most of the believers we knew and loved were killed. It was in the world of Islam where our middle son died on Easter Sunday morning of an asthma attack. Islamic environments at that time felt like the graveyard of faith. 

Islamic Persecution Is Unique

We had already learned how important it was to listen. So we set aside time to listen to the believing culture inside a Muslim country, in rural and urban locations, among both young and old, both men and women, and those literate as well as oral communicators. They told us how they had heard of Jesus and his Bible for the first time. We were startled to discover that their experience was quite different from the experiences of most of the rest of the believing world.

In our earlier travels, we had learned that much persecution originates within governments and institutions of power. In the U.S.S.R. and China persecution was institutionalized. Persecutors were typically somewhere “out there,” and they employed means to find, punish, incarcerate, and kill believers. 

In the world of Islam, we discovered that persecutors are typically not “out there,” but “in here.” In Islam, the persecutor often eats at your breakfast table, watches movies with you, and sleeps in your bedroom. 

In earlier interviews, we had been told of parents and grandparents who would hide a believing son or daughter from the government. Within Islamic settings, however, it was the parents and grandparents who would often have incarcerated, banished, or even killed their own believing children and grandchildren.

What Makes a Good Missionary?

As we talked with persecuted believers, we discovered that they often wanted to talk not just about their own persecution, but also about us, workers from the West. As darkness settled in, after a full day of stories and interviews, I asked these believers about Western missionaries. 

“What do we do well? What things do we not do well? What should we start doing? What should we stop doing? What should we pick up? What should we lay down? What makes a good missionary?”

These believers looked at each other in horror. For hours, they had related their most personal stories. 

They had shared accounts of rejection by parents and siblings. They had unpacked events where they had been shamed and beaten. They had told of other believers who were forced to marry nonbelievers. They had even recalled brothers and sisters who had been brutalized before being killed for their faith. They had not held back the most intimate stories surrounding their families, faith, and persecution.

But when I ask this final question about Western missionaries, they froze.

I pushed harder. I sincerely needed to hear what they would say.

Finally, with great hesitation, one of the believers looked at me and said, “I don’t know what makes a good missionary, but I can tell you the name of the man we love.”

When he told me that man’s name, I asked him the next obvious question, “Why do you love him?”

They said, “We don’t know. We just love him.”

The Man They All Loved

I journeyed to five different places in that country. For ten long days, I interviewed believers. Each time, as I reached the end of the interview, I asked the same question: “What makes a good missionary?”

The response was identical each time: “We don’t know what makes a good missionary, but we can tell you the name of the man we love.”

Amazingly, I heard the same name in every place! 

When I asked why they loved him, the answer was always the same: “We don’t know. We just love him.”

At this point, I began to feel jealous. I wondered why people hadn’t loved me this much. I found myself developing a grudge against a man I didn’t even know!

The final interview in that country ended in the same way. After another long day of interviews I asked again, “What makes a good worker from the West? What makes a good missionary?”

While I silently prayed not to hear the same answer, they said to me, “We don’t know what makes a good missionary, but we can tell you the man we love.” By now, the next sentence was predictable and expected; they mentioned that same name that I had heard over and over again.

The Missing Ingredient in Missions

By this point, I was so frustrated that I told them firmly that I was not going to leave until they told me why this worker from the West was such a wonderful man. I insisted on an answer.

Finally, one of the men leaned across the table toward me and said forcefully, “You want to know why we love him? We love him because he borrows money from us!”

I was stunned. I thought to myself, Well, I can do that, if that’s what it takes to be loved by believers in persecution.

His statement, however, hinted at something much deeper, and I pleaded with him to explain. What I heard felt like that horse-kick to the stomach. The words knocked the breath out of my body. 

The man said, “When this missionary’s father died, he came to us and asked for our help. We didn’t have much, but we gathered an offering of love. We bought him a plane ticket so that he could go home to America and bury his father. This man and his family give everything they have to the poor. They struggle to pay rent and school fees, and put meat on the table. And when he has a great need, what does he do? He doesn’t go to the other Westerners for money. He comes to us. He comes to the scattered and the poor, he comes to local believers, and he asks for, and gets, our help.”

“Do you want to know why we love him? He needs us. The rest of you have never needed us.”

We Need to Need the People We Serve

I was tearfully overwhelmed. And I confessed the arrogance of Western missionaries — and my own arrogance. So much of what we do is about us and about what we can provide. We travel around the world to meet needs, not to be honest about our own, nor to become part of their body of Christ. We are the “haves,” and they are the “have-nots.” 

Though our motives are not always suspect, we generally come and tell other people to “sit down and listen” while we stand and speak. We are aggressive, and we expect local people to remain passive. We bring the gospel, Bibles, and hymnbooks. We provide baptisms, discipleship, and places to meet. We choose the leaders. We care for orphans, build orphanages, rescue the broken, and care for the crippled.

And those are all wonderful things.

But here’s the challenge: What’s left for local people to do? What’s left for the Holy Spirit to provide? Where do we model how to trust God and his provision through the local body of believers? Where do local believers find their worth, their sanctified sense of signficance? What gifts and sacrifice can they bring to this enterprise of taking the gospel to the ends of the earth?

Rarely did the apostle Paul create dependency upon himself. Often in his letters, Paul expressed how desperately he needed his brothers and sisters in Christ. He called those friends by name years later. He never forgot them. When possible, he returned to be with them. When he could not go, he sent them someone else. And he faithfully wrote to them, expressing his love, encouragement, and correction. In a word, he needed them.

If I Were to Start Over

If I were to start my missionary life over, I would bury my pride and unpack some humility. I would become a brother, a friend, and a peer. I would care more about the names of my brothers and sisters on the “mission field” and less about the numbers of baptisms, people discipled, churches planted, and orphanages built. 

I would take to heart the lesson of John the Baptist, saying about a local believer what John said about Jesus: I must decrease so that he can increase (John 3:30). I would invite local believers to lead in the light while I served in the shadows. I would have pressed into what it meant to really need them. 

During most of my ministry in Africa, I felt that I was the apostle Paul. I now know that I often need to be a Timothy.

For those of us in the West, this image should seize our hearts: Jesus taking the cloth from around his waist and washing the feet of the disciples, saying, “The last will be first, and the first last” (Matthew 20:16).