Dad's Back with 'New' SUV

Chris arrived back home around 9pm on Friday night with our 'new to us' Ford Expedition from CA. It is a 2001 with just under 90,000 miles on it after making the trip here from CA. It seems to be in great shape and we are really happy with it. Thanks for praying with us for a vehicle. Please pray our 'old' 98 Ford Explorer will sell soon.

Days 3 & 4 Without Dad

Yesterday we were home until about 2pm. We then headed over to a friend's house from church to visit and have dinner. It was nice to have a good meal since I don't ever cook when Chris isn't home. They enjoyed Malachi's company so it was a win win.

Today I was home all day. Malachi took some good naps and I even got a little cleaning done. I went over to the Giordanos' for dinner and some time out for an hour before I had to bring Malachi home and get him ready for bed.

It feels like Chris has been gone for months even though its only been 4 long days without him. He should be home in a couple of hours, Lord willing.

Here are some pictures of Malachi all dressed up for his outing yesterday.

Please Pray for this Preemie

We know how blessed we were and how the Lord worked by using all of your prayers and encouragement when Malachi was born and we want all you prayer warriors out there praying for the preemie now! His name is Asher. He was born to Bryan and Robyn Adams at 23 weeks gestation. He is now 3 weeks old. Chris heard about baby Asher and his parents' story when listening to a sermon by Matt Chandler recently. This family goes to his church. We have been burdened to pray for them as we experienced a little bit of the hardship of having a premature baby. Asher is a twin. His brother, Titus, saved his life. Titus is with the Lord now. Please pray for this family and read more of their story and keep up with baby Asher through their blog: The Adams

Malachi's Birth Story

Here is Malachi's Birth Story for those of you who didn't get the extended version!

My pregnancy was going really well. I was working out 5 days a week and feeling great. It actually seemed like I was feeling better than most of my other pregnant friends which I was thankful for. I was even telling my good friend who was 6 weeks ahead of me how I felt pretty great earlier in the afternoon before our hospital trip. So, it was a Wednesday night. We were at the prayer meeting at our church. Towards the end of the meeting, around 8:30pm, I started feeling a little dizzy. I thought I was just hungry as a lot of times if I don't eat pregnant or not I feel a little off. While at the prayer meeting we were reading through Acts 4 where the believers pray for boldness ad-mist persecution. We saw their utter abandonment of their lives to the will of God. I don't remember much from that night now other than looking at some of their prayer and how they addressed God as Sovereign Lord and the faith and boldness they had in praying.Chris, I remember, did pray something about praying bold prayers and knowing when we do you work and answer them but sometimes through difficult circumstances...something along those longs.I don't want to be afraid to pray big prayers because of fear that my circumstances will be 'difficult' because it is then that God is working for my good which is ultimately making me more like Christ. That is my good not ease of life. Though I confess I fear to pray things things because He is faithful and loving to change us. 

Here are some clumps of the passage I was referring to in Acts 4.

 But in order that it may spread no further among the people, let us warn them to speak no more to anyone in this name.” So they called them and charged them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John answered them, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.” And when they had further threatened them, they let them go, finding no way to punish them, because of the people, for all were praising God for what had happened. 

....they lifted their voices together to God and said, “Sovereign Lord, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and everything in them...

...for truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place. And now, Lord, look upon their threats and grant to your servants to continue to speak your word with all boldness, while you stretch out your hand to heal, and signs and wonders are performed through the name of your holy servant Jesus...

So after Chris prayed that prayer, God answered! He certainly increased our faith and dependence on Him through prayer in the early birth of our son Malachi Owen Johnson. After we closed in prayer that night, my husband and I made a quick trip to Target. One of my favorite places to walk around. He is a big coupon man and he had some deals to get while we were in town and I was happy to have the chance to 'window shop'. I was still feeling dizzy and told him I'd just crab a granola bar or something at Target and I'd be fine. I did just that and felt a bit better but still just sort of off. I was trying on some maternity clothes while there and noticed my face looked flush. We finished up our shopping and I told my husband Chris, "I don't feel great I guess I'm just tired." So we made our way home and I started having pain in my stomach just under my rib cage. It didn't feel like cramping or contractions or anything else that I had ever felt before. Being my first pregnancy I knew I was worried more than your average girl. That is part of my sinful personality too, worry. Chris took my BP and it was bout 140/90. We called a friend over who is a nurse and he took it and tried to calm us, mostly me down. I laid on the couch for about and hr from 10-11pm. He, our friend, suggested I call my midwife to get her opinion. At this point I was in pain but felt like I was being a 'baby' and probably just overreacting to indigestion or gas. We called the midwife and she said it sounded like indigestion and to take a couple of tums and head to bed- if I couldn't sleep and still had pain to go to the ER. I did not think that was in my future that night. I took the tums and once I felt comfortable enough to fall asleep I went to bed for about 2 hrs. I awoke around 1:15am with terrible pain. Same place but worse now and was radiating into my right should/arm. I went to nursing school for a year and Chris just got EMT certified and we were both thinking something serious, possibly heart related at this point with the pain going down my arm. Still, I didn't want to be overreacting and rush to the hospital so I waited for Chris to offer that option out. After 'secretly' google-ing my symptoms he said, " do you want to go to the hosptial?, I think we should." I quickly replied yes, let's go. I didn't think I was in labor but just wanted to make sure the baby was OK. So we drove to the hospital. The pain continued to get more intense. I urged Chris to DRIVE FASTER on our way.

Now, there are 2 hospitals in the same town about 20/25min from our home. I wanted to go to Valley Baptist as this is where I was plannign to have the baby and I had never been there. I had this thought but never said it out loud. However, Harlingen Medical was closer, right off the high way and being a smaller hospital it seemed like the better choice as I was in so much pain. Chris suggested we go there and I didn't argue. We got in, check in and I was double over in pain. I was lying on the floor with my head over a chair. They quickly brought me back and took my vitals. My BP was now up to 150/90ish. They took me up to labor and delivery to see if I was in labor and check the baby. I was not dilating and not having contractions. The baby was fine. Good heart rate and not in any kind of distress.Chris walked into my room to see me vomiting in the trash can. He later said this was the ONE symptom I did not have in his reading of  preeclampsia in his google search. With somewhat of a medical background this was  in the back of my head to as I watched my BP continue to climb. It was now in the 160s of 100. Pain continuing to get worse. I told Chris early that night 'if it is preeclampsia they are going to have to take the baby out." I didn't believe this was going to happen I just thought I was being my worrying self and jumping to the worst possible scenario right away. 

They started running test. No swelling and no protein in my urine both symptoms of preeclampsia. My midwife had come in and told me I probably just had gas like a patient of hers with similar pain last week. She gave me some gas pills and told me to sit in the rocking chair and rock. It actually seemed to help and the pain was beginning to subside. My BP however was still going up and up. They drew some blood and the results came back irregular. My liver enzymes were elevated. They ordered an ultrasound of all my organs to see if it was my gallbladder or kidneys causing the irregular results and pain. It was now 5am. The ultrasound girl came in and everything looked fine. I was more relieved knowing it wasn't anything major and the pain was going away. I was ready to go home and call it a night. The midwife came in and said she wanted me to stay and wait for the dr in her practice to come in and check me out. They still wanted to figure out why my liver enzymes were high. We waiting a couple of hrs and they did another round of blood work. My midwife had laid out the worst case scenario for me too and said that if it was preeclampsia, they thought my BP could be high because of the pain I was in, then they would have to take the baby out. She assured me she would transfer me to the other hospital BEFORE this happened so that I could be with the baby. The hospital I was currently in did not have a NICU. I listened to her but again did not believe this was going to happen. God's grace I guess in keeping me from worrying about it all morning. 

They ordered a sono of the baby to see how he was 'in case' he had to be delivered. They said he was measuring more like 35 weeks instead of 33 and was over 5lbs. I was happy with this news with the possibility of a C-section seeming more and more in my future. Malachi would be born at 4lbs 6oz and would be his actual 33 weeks. ( I would actually be 33 weeks the next day)

The doctor finally came in and had my latest blood results.  My liver enzymes had double in toxicity. My BP was 180/110. I was going to have an Emergency C-section. My body was shutting down. I started having contractions according to the monitor and baby was moving less. There was no time to transfer me.  And the whole time I felt FINE now. Everyone around me was beginning to show fear for me. I didn't understand. They started me on Magnesium to keep me from having seizures due to high BP and to try to get the BP down a bit before surgery. After this upsetting news, which I seemed to handle well by the grace of God, I was anxious to get it down and over with quick. This would not be the case as we had to wait a few hours for the doctor to complete another C-section and for me to be stable enough for the surgery. They cathiterized me to keep me in bed. My output was not good. Kidneys were starting to shut down.  I would have the C-section and be 'stuck' in the hospital for a couple of days while by newborn fragile baby boy would be transferred to the other hospital to be cared for in the NICU. I was not happy about this and was arguing with the doctor and nurses to let me sign myself out and have my husband drive me down the road to the other hospital. They advised me I was not stable enough or they would just take me in the ambulance. I was beginning to slur my speech unknowingly. We decided to just stay. 

We recited and prayed this before the surgery. 

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,

for my hope is from him.

He only is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be shaken.

On God rests my salvation and my glory;

my mighty rock, my refuge is God.

Trust in him at all times, O people;

pour out your heart before him;

God is a refuge for us. Selah

(Psalm 62:5-8 ESV)

My worst fear was coming true. I was going to have a C-section. I never thought I'd have a premature baby so I didn't worry about that. I had switched to a midwife halfway through the pregnancy to ensure myself a natural birth. I was getting prepped for surgery. They took me in the OR. I was leaning over into a nurse's arms as they gave me the anesthesia. The thought of that huge needle going in my spine was so unsettling. I wish Chris were with me. They prepped me and then Chris was allowed in. I told him I was afraid I was going to feel the pain of them cutting me. The fact that I felt the medicine trickle down my left side more than might right and that I could still lift my right leg was not helping my irrational thinking. The anesthesiologist tested me a couple of times and I kept informing him I could still lift my right leg. I kept telling Chris, I'm going to feel this!!! I ask the nursing to test me to see if I could feel anything, they laughed and said they already had several times. I still didn't like the fact that I could lift my right leg. 

It was time to be cut. My worst fear coming true and even worse with a preterm baby whom I would not get to be with. I felt a lot of pressure and felt them inside of me pulling him out. My back came off the table. It didn't hurt but was uncomfortable and creepy. I was rejoicing as I heard my baby boy crying as he came out. From there I wouldn't remember much as I was given more meds and became pretty out of it. They gave the baby to Chris to hold for less than a minute and he brought him over to show me. Later I wouldn't be able to remember if that really happened or if I had imagined it. I was then sent to the recovery room for 1 hr by myself. Chris wasn't allowed in. After a while Chris came in and then the baby in an incubator ready to be transferred. It looked well for being so early. He was only on a nasal cannula to help him breathe. He would take a turn for the worse the next night.  I saw him for about 5 minutes and was only able to reach my hand inside and stroke his skin. They took him away and I wouldn't see him again for 2 days.

I spent the next 2 days in the hospital and he in the NICU in the other. Chris traveled back and forth between us spending the first night in his car in the parking lot. Friends took turns spending the days and nights with me.  We learned the day I was discharged that I had a severe form of preeclampsia called HELLP syndrome. 

HELLP syndrome is a life-threatening pregnancy complication usually considered to be a variant of preeclampsia.

H (hemolysis, which is the breaking down of red blood cells),

EL (elevated liver enzymes) and 
LP (low platelet count).

My friends had been telling me that I almost died. I couldn't believe them as I felt so good after the pain left and I just thought I had high BP. I learned later how serious this condition is after reading more about it online. 

I spent those two days in the hospital forcing myself to eat, walk and pee to get out ASAP to see my baby. He was born on Thursday afternoon and Friday night we got a call that he had to be intubated because he couldn't keep his oxygen levels up. I was in so much emotional distress and my BP was still high. It needed to come down before I could leave the hospital. I wanted to leave that night as I feared for my sons life and felt GUILTY for not being able to carry him full term. He was now fighting to stay alive because my body had 'rejected' him. I kept reliving my thought of going to the other hospital the night we were on our way in. If only I had said something we'd be in the same hospital and I could visit his floor. This was frustrating but I had to trust this too was all part of God's Sovereign plan for us. I could do NOTHING for my son. It felt like I was in jail those two days in that hospital room. God had to continue to grow him as he had been or the past 33 weeks inside of me. These verses were comforting to me as I was fearing for his life. Surely they were just as true even though he was no longer inside my womb but outside continuing to grown and develop.

Psalm 139

For you eformed my inward parts;

you fknitted me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.1

gWonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

15 hMy frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in ithe depths of the earth.

16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your jbook were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

Malachi spent 12 days in the hospital int he NICU. Chris urged everyone to pray for him to come home for Christmas. This was not very realistic according to worldly wisdom. God answered our prayers. He came home on December 20th, 5 days sooner than we had hoped for. 

Their are previous blog posts filed under Malachi of day to day progress while he was in the NICU.

Day 2 Without Dad

Today started out as an early one. Malachi was up at 6:20am. That is a pretty early time for me but even earlier considering I didn't to bed until midnight and he was up again at 2:30am. It is nice having him go to bed early but that means his long stretch of sleep is from 7-11pm. Just when I was crawling into bed last night he woke up! I am going to try to get to bed earlier tonight so I can catch a few more extra hours.

Around 10:30 my friend Nancy from church came over with her 3 year old daughter and baby son who is just a few days younger than Malachi. We hung out here for a while and then went out to lunch together. It was nice to have some adult time and to get out of this house. We really enjoyed each other's company and I was happy to pass the time a little more quickly than usual.

As I was leaving the house however, I accidentally locked myself out. We do not have a key to the handle lock of our door and somehow it got locked and I didn't realize until I closed it when we were leaving. Chris got in touch with our landlord and she brought a key over to open it later this afternoon. I went over my friend Lisa's apartment over at the ministry until she came. While I was over there I stopped in the office and weighed Malachi for fun. He was 11lbs 5oz! This boy can really gain weight!

The afternoon was a bit rough as Malachi didn't really get a good nap in after 2pm which seems to be an ongoing pattern. He slept for maybe 30 minutes while I tried to get a work out in. I got a little over 40 minutes in until he started screaming. As silly as it sounds it is moments like those that really make me die to self and what I want to do to care for a screaming, fussy child. I do love him so much though. So I kept him up a bit and gave him a bath and then fed him and put him down around 6:30pm. He was pretty much asleep when I put him down and course he woke right up. He's been laying in his bed for 40 min around fighting off sleep. I hope he goes to bed soon so I can too!

Here are some pictures of my little fuss pot from tonight. We miss dad so much!

Day 1 Without Dad

Today has gone pretty smoothly. Malachi took over an hour nap this morning and then a 3 hour nap this afternoon. However, he was then up from 2-7 for the most part. He was in and out of sleep several times. He just fell asleep and I am hoping that is it for the night- until his regular night time feeds.

We went for a walk over to the Giordano's and then to the post office this afternoon. That was our big outing  of the day. Here are some pictures. It was a little too bright out for those blue eyes.

After the Walk

1st Night Out

Tonight was the first time we went out with out Malachi since we brought him home two months ago today. Chris and I went out to Target to pick up a few things and then stopped and had some ice cream at    Dairy Queen. It was weird being out without him. Our good friend Steph stayed at the house while Malachi slept. I think I texted Steph about 4-5 times checking in.

I would appreciate your prayers over the next few days as Chris will be leaving tomorrow morning to fly to CA. He will be purchasing a, 'new to us', used Ford Expedition for us and driving it back here to Texas. He will not be home until late Friday night. He has only been gone one other time for a day trip to Mexico. I am a little nervous about being home for four days with out him but I do have friends around here to help out if I get tired or overwhelmed. Hopefully Malachi will cooperate, especially in the middle of the night!

Surviving Sleeplessness

I don't think anyone can fully prepare you for what it will be like to have a child. We all have our preconceived ideas about what our little family will be like and how we will function and then baby comes and reality sets in. For us, it was actually a pretty smooth start after a bumpy delivery. Since Malachi was premature, all he wanted to do was sleep. So for me that meant he was on my schedule. He would only wake up when I would wake him to eat and even then it was a battle to keep him up just to do that. Malachi has been waking on his own for probably a month now. Things still seemed well and good until yesterday. The boy decided not to sleep from 1:30-9pm. I was totally overwhelmed. I tried EVERYTHING I could think of, fed him several times, rocked him, put him in a sling, drove around in the car with him, rocked his car seat but despite my hard efforts he refused to sleep or stay asleep longer than a few minutes. Finally, after many tears and desperation, I called my friend Celess knowing she has dealt with the difficulties of non sleeping babies before. Her advice- swaddle him and hold him down on your chest until he falls asleep, make sure he was out for a while and then put him down. Praise God it worked! The night wasn't too bad as he was only up for his 2 night time feeds. Then this morning the battle began again as Malachi fought to keep his eyes open and not nap. Again, we would get him to sleep and then put him down and he'd wake up and scream. Thankfully I got him to take his afternoon nap, he has been sleeping for the past hour and a half now. Hoping we are getting back to normal now.

The past 24hrs has taught me the oh too familiar lesson that I am not and will never be in control. I can not make my baby sleep. No matter what I do I can not force him. I hate not being in control. This is an ongoing struggle for me as God calls us to fully surrender ourselves to his Sovereign and good hand. I was convicted yesterday morning when I read this in a devotional called Jesus Calling.


"It is easy to make an idol of routine, finding security within the boundaries you build around your life. although each day contains twenty-four hours, every single one presents a unique set of circumstances. dont try to force-fit today into yesterday's mold. instead, ask Me to open your eyes, so that you can find all I have prepared for you in this precious day of Life."


I wish I meditated on this more as the day went on and presented the exact thing mentioned that I would struggle with, the idol of routine. I LOVE routine. I would love it if I could do pretty much exactly the same thing every day at the same time. I HATE when things or people mess up my routine. That may sound mean or blunt but I am just being honest. I don't mean it to be offensive that is just how I function. I want everything and everyone to fit into my schedule and routine. Obviously God is using Malachi to break me of this selfishness and remove the idol of routine in my life. My desire is to be a person that cherishes God and his plans for my day more than what I hope to accomplish in a 24hr period.

Growing

These are 2 month pictures of Malachi with the stuffed animals we have been taking pictures with since we brought him home. He has really grown and filled out a lot over the past month especially. Soon I will d a post with each picture I have taken with these to show you the drastic changes.

New Features

I am sure you could tell I changed some things up on the blog this weekend. For one, the look. I wanted something a little cleaner and more simple. We might change it a little bit by adding more color but I think it is easier to look at and read this way. I also added the feature "follow by email" which allows you to enter in your email address so that you will be sent an email notification every time there is a new post. With me leaving Facebook this is a good way for people to keep up with us and Malachi. There is a new search bar to search the content of the blog and labels for each post. I am hoping to blog more now and keep things up to date and organized. Oh, and I almost forgot- comments. I heard some feedback that people were not able to leave comments unless they were registered with blogger- I think I was able to remove that restriction and now any one can leave a comment so please do! Thanks so much for keeping up with us!

Michele-for the Johnsons

Its All about the Gospel!

A Weekend of Milestones

Malachi had a weekend full of milestones. On Friday he took his first trip into Mexico! We took Chris' mom and sister just across the border to have lunch in Mexico. Then on Saturday he took his first trip to the beach at South Padre Island. The beach trip was rather brief because it was cold and windy. Malachi and I took a walk down, looked at the Ocean, got a picture and then booked it back to the car to stay warm. And perhaps the greatest milestone of the weekend was a new size of clothing! This little man had a growth spurt this week and it seems like he grew out of all his clothes over night. I spent a good amount of time going through all the sizes and getting everything organized. It was a little sad saying goodbye to some cute little outfits but we are glad he is growing well. 0-3 months welcome, we will see how long we are with you!

2 Months Old!

Happy 2 Months, Malachi! You are more precious to us each day.

Yesterday we took him to the doctor's because he had a bad diaper rash and he weighed 10lbs! He gained 11oz since Friday. Growth spurt? It has been a long few nights of him getting up every 2.5hrs instead or his normal 3.5 -4 which is making mom and dad pretty tired. However, we are thankful for his growth over the past two months- over 5.5 pounds. Praise God!

Grammy Johnson is here visiting and Aunt Patty is coming tomorrow. So nice to have our family meet and enjoy Malachi with us.

January Pictures

I posted several new albums from January on our photo site. Click here to see them http://thejohnsonsjourneys.shutterfly.com/

1st Shots and Check Up

The first picture above was taken on December 18- Malachi was 10 days old. The picture under it was taken today and he is 8 weeks old. I think it might be time to retire those PJs! I thought it would be fun to compare as we mention how much this little guy has grown. He is now 9lbs 5oz and 20.5 inches long. The last time we were at the doctor's office, 4 weeks ago he was 6lbs 2oz and 19 inches long- he did lots of growing this month. I think he even had a growth spurt a few days ago as he was eating just about every 2-2.5hrs.

Malachi got his first set of shots today. He got- Dtap, Hib, PCV and Polio. We refused Hep B and Rotavirus. He will get his next round of the given shots in two months. We don't have to see any more specialists or make any more doctors appoints, just normal check ups from here on out, Lord willing. The doctor was very please with Malachi's growth and said that he thinks he is going to be a ''big boy". No more Mr. Premature.

Though he is 8 weeks his 'corrected age' is 1 week so he is certainly acting more like a normal newborn. He wakes up more often on his own during the day and does consistently and night. He has a strong cry and has fussy moments- though not too bad. He has been eating 8 times per day- 2.5-3hrs during the day and 4hrs at night, sometimes a little longer but 4 seems to be his regular. He is up twice at night, usually 2am and 5am, though last night he only woke up at 2 and then slept until 7- I could get used to that! So although it doesn't quiet do all that a normal 2 month old would he is very alert, observant and strong. He is holding his head up well and likes looking all around at what's going on. We are so thankful for our growing boy and all that the joy that comes with caring for him each day.